Never Say Never
by hherforlife17
Summary: "Never say never and follow your dreams!" "Never say never, because limits, like fears are often just an illusion" "Never say goodbye because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting"
1. Prologue

**Hey Everybody,**

**I finally took my language exam and did almost all of my midterm exams, therefore I have more time to write and this idea just popped into my head. I really hope you like it or at least want to see more of it. I am also almost finished with a new chapter for New Neighbors, so expect it to be updated soon. I am extremely sorry that the process is taking so long, but I want the chapters to be perfect.**

**Much Love,**

**~Bridgit.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Hollywood Heights or any of the characters.**_

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_**Prologue **_

_**I wanna take you somewhere so you know I care**_

_**But it's so cold and I don't know where**_

_**I brought you daffodils in a pretty string**_

_**But they won't flower like they did last spring**_

_**And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright**_

_**I'm just so tired to share my nights**_

_**I wanna cry and I wanna love**_

_**But all my tears have been used up**_

_**On another love, another love**_

_**All my tears have been used up**_

_**On another love, another love**_

_**All my tears have been used up**_

_**On another love, another love**_

_**All my tears have been used up**_

_**And if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight**_

_**But my hands been broken, one too many times**_

_**So I'll use my voice, I'll be so fucking rude**_

_**Words they always win, but I know I'll lose**_

_**And I'd sing a song, that'd be just ours**_

_**But I sang 'em all to another heart**_

_**And I wanna cry I wanna learn to love**_

_**But all my tears have been used up**_

_**On another love, another love**_

_**All my tears have been used up**_

_**On another love, another love**_

_**All my tears have been used up**_

_**On another love, another love**_

_**All my tears have been used up**_

_**I wanna sing a song, that'd be just ours**_

_**But I sang 'em all to another heart**_

_**And I wanna cry, I wanna fall in love**_

_**But all my tears have been used up**_

_**On another love, another love**_

_**All my tears have been used up**_

_**On another love, another love**_

_**All my tears have been used up**_

_**On another love, another love**_

_**All my tears have been used up**_

_**/Another Love by Tom Odell/**_

**Eddie slightly sighed as he finished up the last notes of the song he finished writing this morning. He stood up from the piano bench and turned around to observe the reaction of his, who was sitting behind him on the couch, a little bit confused because she didn't quite understand the meaning of the new song her boyfriend was so excited to show her. **

**Eddie: **I'm so sorry Chloe, but I can't do this anymore. I thought that by stepping into a relationship with you it would be easier for me to learn to love again, but it didn't.

**Chloe:** Eddie what are you saying?

**Eddie:** I think we should call it quits.

**Chloe:** What? I thought you were as happy as I was.

**Eddie:** I was, I was OK. I care about you a lot but I just don't think my feelings for you could grow any more.

**Chloe:** It's because of her, isn't it? All this time I have been trying to convince myself that once, maybe once you would feel the same way about me as you do about her, but it seems like it was just a big waste of my time.

**Eddie: **I love her Chloe.

**Chloe:** But she doesn't love you Eddie. Please, just think about it again! We can just pretend that this has never happened and go on with our lives. **\- Her desperate demand was declined as Eddie shook his head. -** Why can't you love me Eddie? What is that she has and I don't?

**Eddie:** Chloe a little part of me will always care about her, but no matter how hard I will try, I'll never be able to move on from her. Listen, I am only doing this because it is what's best for you. I don't want you to be in a relationship with someone who will never feel the same way about you.

**Chloe:** Screw you! **– cried out Chloe and quickly stormed out of the place but nor before connecting her palms with Eddie's face.**


	2. Chapter 1 - Never Say Never

**Hello Everybody!**

**I am extremely sorry that I have been MIA for such a long time but life had just got extremely busy. I know that I always use the same excuse for not updating, but lately I didn't have time, or energy to sit down and write. Thank you for reading my stories, still having faith in me, sending me all those sweet PMs and still reviewing! I love you all! I was listening to some music and got inspired. I have an idea how I want to continue this story and in the next chapter you all get to see it. I know it is kind of hard to understand what is going on right now and it may be a little bit confusing when I get to this point in the story again but in the following chapters every question will be answered. I haven't decided yet whether I want to end it differently or just leave it and continue in a sequel but time will tell.**

**PS.: I hope each and every one of you has had a wonderful Christmas! Mine was great.**

**Enjoy and review!**

**Love, **

**~Bridgit.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Hollywood Heights or any of the characters! I don't know who does but the only thing I own is the plot and the possible characters I may add in the future!**_

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_**Chapter 1**_

_**Never Say Never**_

"_**Love is untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused."  
~Paulo Coelho**_

**Los Angeles, California**

_**One Year from Now  
Eddie's Point of View**_

_**They say you don't get over someone until you find someone or something better. As humans, we don't deal well with emptiness. Any empty space must be filled. Immediately. The pain of emptiness is too strong and it compels the victim to fill that place. A single moment with that empty space causes excruciating pain. That's why we run from distraction to distraction – and from attachment to attachment. Dealing with a loss and betrayal is never easy, it doesn't matter what sort of loss is the case.**_

_**The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. It just simply crushes you and there is nothing you can do to prevent it. I grew up on the road with my parents, leading a very sheltered life. To make it even worse, I never had my heart broken until now. I have never felt this kind of pain and let me just say, I hate it.**_

_**They say that time is supposed to heal you, but honestly I haven't done much healing. Time just makes things worst. There is no such thing as a cure for heartbreak out there, no matter what other people say.**_

_**Every single person has their own ways of dealing with pain. Some of them get lost in their works, some of them pick up a new hobby and some of them like to drink their sorrows away. I am one of the latter. All I seemed to have been doing lately is sitting around in my penthouse and dwelling on the events of my life that could not be changed with bottles of whiskey as my only companions. I can't imagine how pathetic I must sound right now…**_

_**Never would I have thought at the beginning that we would get this far, given the way how our relationship started. So much has happened in the last year, it almost seems surreal. What did I ever do to deserve this? Why does the universe have to punish me so much? She left not even saying goodbye after all of the things we had been through. After all of the things I had found out. I am furious at her. I am beyond angry at her for not even hesitating to leave me but I am also clearly aware of the fact that no matter how much anger I feel towards her, I could never stop loving her. I just can't. I have no idea what kind of delusion I must have been operating under, thinking that I could somehow escape the past, miraculously stop missing her by dating somebody else but sometimes your heart just needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.**_

_**It's hard when you have someone in your heart but you can't have them in your arms. Missing someone is not about how long since you've seen them or the amount of times you've talked to them. It's about that very moment when you're doing something and wishing they were right here with you. For me, almost every moment is like that.**_

**I put down my pen after writing down the last few words of my thoughts and throw my journal to the coffee table covered with numerous pieces of paper containing the pathetic starts of a few songs I attempted to write. I am completely stuck. I haven't been able to put together one normal verse in weeks, while before I was able to finish a song in two days. It's just so frustrating and it's all because of **_**her**_**. I pick up my glass of whiskey, angrily downing the remains of the brown liquid with one mouthful. I enjoy the familiar burning sensation sliding down my throat and lay back on the couch, heaving a sigh. I cannot believe this is what my life has become.**

**All of a sudden, a set of knocks occurs on the front door and break me away from my train of thoughts. I reluctantly drag myself away from the comfort of the couch, preparing myself to send away anybody who could be on the other side of that door. I directly told my doorman that under no circumstances are visitors allowed and I do not like it when my wishes are not fulfilled. Yanking the door open, I see a pair of chocolate brown eyes, almost black as they burn with what I assume is anger. They belong to no other than my manager, Jake Madsen.  
He has been coming over to check on me every once in a while and of course to ask if I had made any progress with songwriting or not. He always gets the same answer. **_**No.**_**  
Jake tried to play it off like it was not a problem each time he had been here but I knew him too well to be able to read his expressions. It goes without saying that it was never OK and I knew it each time. I knew that the label was constantly breathing down his neck but he was trying to sugarcoat the message and be understanding of my **_**situation**_**. To be honest, I didn't really care either. However, right now he is as far as he can be from understanding. I can see that he is fuming. His features are rigid and he has a determent face on. He is looking at me with an expression I am all too familiar with, which is an extremely huge giveaway of his reasoning for coming here. I am in **_**big**_** trouble.**

**For a couple of seconds the only thing we do is stare at each other, holding each other's gazes like two wolves that are about to duel. We wait for the other to speak up and fill the awkward silence. Neither one of us do it. As a few minutes pass, I get enough and decide to let the argument begin, preparing myself for the scolding I am about to get. **_**Here goes nothing.**_

"What do you want Jake?"

**I ask, heaving an annoyed sigh and walk back into the apartment. He, of course, follows me toward the kitchen and raises his voice instantly. I knew that having Jake get off my back for a little while was too good to be true and surely, to last. Not only did he never like her but he also would have preferred me to date someone more famous, saying it would be more helpful for my career.**

"What I want is for you to finally realize that what you are currently doing is very much unhealthy and will not do any good for you, nor your career."

"I don't need you to tell me what is wrong or right for me, OK. I'm an adult and I can take care of myself."

**I say, obviously lying. You know, sometimes it is just easier to pretend like you don't care, than to admit it's killing you inside. I just try to shuffle through the day without breaking down. Being in the spotlight has taught me well how to hide my feelings from the public, which is extremely useful as I hate when the paparazzi trails my every step around this city. I have never really been fond of showing my emotions in front of other people.  
It's not I am afraid to be vulnerable but I feel like that there is a fine line between private life and my work. I love my fans from the bottom of my heart but I like to keep the in my life to myself and my loved ones.**

"You are not acting like one right now." **– He says, as he motions with his head toward the bunch of liquor bottles all over the kitchen. - **"You can't keep on drinking and your self-pity for the rest of your life." **– He stops for a moment, poking my chest with his finger as he keeps on speaking. - **"You have to get your act together and fast because I booked you a concert for tonight."

"Jake, how many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to do any concerts right now?"

"I know you've said that but… Eddie, you cancelled your last two concerts completely out of the blue and it goes without saying that neither the fans nor the label were very happy about it."

**I stop in my trucks as I listen to the last couple of words escape his mouth** **and no matter how crappy it is to have the love of your life walk away from you, I actually find some truth to it. To tell you the truth, I could care less about what the label thinks, but on the other hand, I cannot keep disappointing my fans, as I owe all my success to them.**

"What's the venue?"

**I ask reluctantly, slowly turning around to face Jake. He has a smug look on his face, being very proud of himself as he finally found my weak point. He is very well-aware of the fact that there is nothing that I hate more than being a disappointment.**

"MK."

"I'm not doing it." **– I answer straightaway, finding my newfound excitement for this show gone as quickly as it came. I will **_**not**_** do a gig at that place. Not now, not ever.**

"Eddie…"

"I'm just not ready to do that, all right?" **– I say, walking away from here, ending the conversation right there and then.**

"You're not ready for what? To get back on stage or to face him?"

**Hearing my two options for this question, I am still not able to decide what exactly was holding me back. Am I ready to get back on stage and perform like nothing happened after a two-months-long hiatus? Or is **_**he**_** really the reason why I want to cancel this concert so much? Am I ready to face the man who has been lying to me the past 22 years of my life? Am I ready to confront the person, whom only two months ago I called my father and now he is nothing more than a stranger? I think now I know the answer to Jake's question.**

"Both."

"You are going to have to solve whatever grudge you still seem to be holding because I am not letting you bail on this one, too. People are going to run out of patience and you know very well that there is no way back from that point."

"It's not that simple."

"I know but I tell you what. You go there, perform, spend a little bit of time with your fans and then you are free to leave. You don't even have to look at them, let alone talk to them."

**I can't help snorting as he makes his naïve offer. It is quite funny that he actually believes that I could do an entire concert there without facing them. It is their club after all. He looks at me like I am crazy as I chuckle a little bit more at his offer. He doesn't seem to understand that facing them would not even be the biggest difficulty of the night. No, it wouldn't. On the other hand, acting like everything is alright would be more of a problem than meeting my parents for the first time in two months.**

"I just don't think I could go upon that stage and act like nothing happened. I mean, the love of my life has just left me for God's sake!"

"I told you. I told you that you were going to end up hurt if you got together with her and you didn't listen to me." **– He says, raising his voice a little bit, as if doing that would get his message through my head and make me admit that he has been right all along. What a joke!**

"Jake, shut up! You have no idea what you are talking about."

"I just don't understand how you are still so hung up on her? You seemed fine after you started dating Chloe and then you dumped her… I just don't understand it, Eddie."

"I wasn't fine Jake, I was delusional. I was thinking that I could somehow escape the past and my feelings for her if I started dating again, but I was lying to myself."

**I can feel the anger boiling up inside of me as I walk into the living and set myself down on the couch. Jake, of course followed me there, too and I can see it on his voice that he wants to say something but I didn't let him. When I speak up,** **my voice is raspy from the lack of use and of course, from anger, while my hands are curled into fists.**

"I'll do it but right now all I want is to be left the hell alone, so goodbye Jake!"

**He looks dumbfounded and a little bit surprise of my outburst. It takes him a couple of minutes to process what I have just said and I wait for him to walk out of the apartment, before standing up and walking upstairs to my bedroom. I am exhausted and I need to sleep.**

* * *

**I jerk awake on my bed as the sound of the doorbell echoes through the house, breaking its peaceful silence. I quietly groan while cursing under my breath and slowly get out from under the covers. I don't know how long it has been since Jake left but I am still in no mood to have any kind of physical interaction with other people, but my curiosity got the better of me. I walk down the stairs and make my way over to the front door, not bothering to look through the peephole to check who it is. The door is now fully open and I am just standing there, surprised to see him standing in front of me.**

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to check up on you." **– He answers, as it is the most obvious thing in the world. As if I actually need to be checked up on.**

"You know I am getting really tired of having to explain myself to people. I am an adult, I can take care of myself, and most importantly I do not need to be checked up on." **– I answer him walking away from the front door and sitting down on my leather couch in the living room. Expectedly, he follows my lead and sits down on the armchair right across from me.**

"I know that but still, can't I just come and pay a visit to my own brother?"

"Technically, I am…"

"Don't you dare say what I know you are going to say! You are my brother! You have been there for since day one, you have always supported me, hell you didn't even judge me when I came out of the closet. We have talked about this thousand times and _this_ does not change anything."

"Yeah… For you…"

**I can see it in his eyes that he is very much bothered by my comment but I just couldn't help snapping at him. Deep down inside of me, it feels very good to hear him say that but somehow I just cannot find it in me to agree with what he says. No matter how many times I have tried to come in terms with this and told myself that it changes nothing in my life, it still feels pretty awful to know that you do not share anything, no blood, no flesh with the person you thought your father was.**

"Our family has…" **– He tries to go on with his speech but I quickly cut him off as soon as he tries to refer to me as a member of that family.**

"_Your_ family. It is not _my_ family."

**I expected him to snap and blow up but I never really expected this. Patrick has always been the patient one in the family, always trying to solve the problems by calmly talking them over with the other party. He has never been a supporter of raising your voice, nor getting violent with the other person, but I guess intense situations get the better of the best of us.**

"You know, I am getting really tired of hearing and watching you pitying yourself and licking your wounds but I never mentioned it because I wanted to be supportive of you. I wanted to make you feel like there is somebody on your side and listens to your problems, but denying your membership of this family is way out of the line." **– He takes a very deep breath and a small step in my direction. His voice is now softer but kind of scratchy from yelling at me just now. -** "I understand that you are angry because they lied to you but you are acting like that this tiny piece of information would actually lessen their love for you."

"They have been lying to me for the last _22 _years of my life!"

"Get the fuck over it! I hate to be the one to break this to you but this whole shit is affecting my life, too, you know? First I find out that my brother, who has always protected me, who is the person I have always looked up to, is only my half-brother and now my family is slowly falling apart. I feel like everyone is getting more and more distanced and there is nothing I can do to stop it!"

"How in the hell is one able to get over something like this?"

**Hearing what he said made my heart crumble and it finally enabled me to relate to what he is going through, because seeing someone you love in pain and knowing that there is nothing that you can do about it really is the worst kind of pain. I guess, I never really did think about how this entire fiasco would affect the people in my life, because I was too preoccupied dealing with my feelings about this situation.**

"Did you just once during all this time think about their side of the story? You don't know what motives they could have had to do this. You do not know why they did what they did. Maybe they did it because they thought that it's best for you."

"What motives could possibly make all of this better for me? They made the decision to lie to me and that is final. I am not willing to talk about this any more than it is necessary."

"What about Loren? You didn't even let her explain. You just sent her away, calling her a liar. What would you have done, if you were to be put in her place?"

"Don't even go there!"

"You can hate us for everything that happened but you need to realize that we didn't have anything to do with her decision to leave. She chose that herself, and may I say, she had a pretty good reason."

"And what good reason would that be?"

**I ask, instantly getting angry. I feel each and every muscle on my body tense and quickly stand up from the couch, feeling the urge to hit something. Every time the subject of her absence comes up I cannot help getting upset but hearing your brother say that you are part of the reason why the love of your life left you makes it even worse. I don't even know why I am surprised. He has always been straightforward and never had any filter when it comes to expressing his opinion. It's one of the many things I have always admired about him but right now, I could punch him for it.**

"Your stubbornness. Eddie, you didn't even listen to what she had to say about this whole fiasco. Like I've said, you just sent her away without even knowing what actually happened, because that is what you always do whenever somebody lies to you."

"Oh, I see what is going on here. You are taking her side."

"I am not taking anyone's side Eddie. I am not saying that it was right of her to leave at the first opportunity she got. All I'm trying to do is getting you to understand that you have to listen and let other people help you. You can keep lying to yourself but it goes without saying that deep down in your heart you are never going to be able to hate neither Loren nor your parents."

"Get out!"

**I shout angrily, getting fed up with everyone trying to tell me what I am supposed to do. I look up from my feet, still feeling his presence in the room. He looks hurt. His posture is stern and his features show no emotion whatsoever. His hands are curled into fists, and his Adam's apple is going up and down, as he is trying to swallow down his anger. I have never seen him so rigid. For a moment, I feel a drip of guilt in the pit of my stomach. Maybe, he is right. Maybe, I did have a part in her departure… Several seconds of feeling guilty pass by as slowly everything returns. The guilt quickly fades away, as the memories of all the pain and heartbreak I experienced come flashing back. I jump up from the couch, getting my keys from the coffee table and leave my apartment with Patrick still inside. I do not look back.**

* * *

**I was not expecting to come here. To be honest, I just got in the car and drove where the road would take me. However, I should not be surprised. Whenever I have a problem or simply some thinking to do, I always come here. This place brings me a strange sense of comfort and helps clear my head, whatever the situation might be. I open the door of my car, instantly feeling the cold January air nipping on my skin. It is a particularly cold day here in Los Angeles with its 40 degrees. I quickly get my leather jacket from the backseat and putting it on; I begin to walk up the hill. I love coming here. It's my secret spot. It used to be **_**our**_** secret spot… This place has such a peaceful aura and a surprisingly big calming effect on me. It holds so many memories, both pleasant and unpleasant ones but as painful as it is to think about those, the beautiful view of the city makes up for them each time.** **The sound of footsteps on the ground breaks me away from my circle of thoughts. I open my eyes, directing them towards the person behind me. I let astonishment take over my features, as I watch her walk closer. I wait for her to reach the spot where I am standing and walk over to big the tree near the edge of the hill, sliding down against it into the dust.**

"I knew I could find you here."

"What do you want Mel?" **– I ask, heaving a sigh of annoyance. I came here to be alone and do not need any physical interaction right now.**

"Can't I just pay you an unexpected visit?"

**I roll my eyes at her answer. Anyone who knows Melissa at least a little bit, is well-aware that she never does anything spontaneous. She always has everything planned out and even if the tiniest thing goes wrong, she flips and is ready to bite anyone's head off. That is something that I have always admired about her. She is so well-organized and knows what she wants to do with her life, not afraid to go out of her way to make it happen. I am the complete and total opposite. My problem is that I intend to live very spontaneously, not even giving a single thought to the future. Being in high school, I was never really worried about which college I would go to because I always knew what I wanted to be. A rock star.**

"I know you Melissa. You always have a specific purpose for doing things."

"OK. You caught me. I came here because I wanted to see you." **– She admits, sitting down next to me.**

"I don't believe you. You want to know why?"

**She nods her head, letting me know that she wants to hear the rest of my sentence. Over the last couple of months, she and I have been pretty much avoiding each other, well because… Let's be honest, Melissa and I have quite an extreme past together and the single thought of her worrying about me is just impossible to process at the moment.**

"Because last time I saw you, you were ready to kill me. I had never seen you so angry before."

"Well, could you blame me? You left me to be with her."** \- The moment the words leave her mouth, I instantly feel the pain of guilt, like a bunch of knives in my chest. - **"Listen, I'm sorry about…"

"Don't even go there!"

**She cuts me off before I could apologize properly. I want to continue because I want her to know how sorry I am about everything that happened between us. I know that she says that she is over it now but I still can see that pang of pain in her eyes when this subject comes up. And I understand the reason behind that pain. I understand because I was the one who caused her that pain. I selfishly didn't think about how much harm my actions could cause to the people around me and I regret that now.**

"Time has passed and I accepted your decision. I know that it took me quite a lot of time but I am over it and with everything going on in my life right now… It finally made me realize that I was acting stupid and I… Why is it so damn hard?"** – She takes a deep breath before going on with her speech. - **"I want to apologize for that."

**That sentence is something I would've never expected to leave Melissa Sanders' mouth. No matter how hard I try, I cannot help letting out a chuckle of surprise. When it comes to apologizing, there are two kinds of people. Firstly, the people who are brave enough to admit that they are wrong. Then there are the ones, where Melissa belongs, and the ones, who would do anything to avoid apologizing. I know how hard it must be for her to do this because I am one of those people. I am not perfect. I make mistakes and I hurt people but when I apologize I really do mean it. As much as it surprised me to hear her say those words, I just couldn't let her apologize for what happened because it just doesn't feel right, because apologizing for saying what you feel is like saying sorry for being real.**

"You don't have to apologize for anything, you know? I hurt you and you were upset. That is completely understandable."

"That might be true but I really want to. I was acting like a bitch and I could've handled it way better than I did."

"Who are you and what did you do with Melissa?"

"I finally had some sense knocked into me… I know that you must be probably fed up with people asking you this question but how are you?"

"Could you please stop with these questions?! I am fine. How many times do I have to tell you that? It's not like the end of the world." **– I exclaim, raising my voice a little it. I really have had enough of this question.**

"OK… No need to get angry, I was just asking."

**We don't say another thing for a quite a while, just sit there and stare at the scenery in front of us. I lean back against the tree and lay down on my back, looking up at the sky, full of stars. The quietness of the place takes over me and I close my eyes, enjoying its beautiful feeling. I can't explain it but this place is just magical. It just somehow has the power to lower the chaos in my head and help me relax until I forget about why I came here in the first place.**

"Sometimes, I just wonder what was in it for her."

**I finally say, after a couple of minutes passed and I can feel my voice already shaking. Over the past two months, I have been trying to figure out whether or not she had ever loved me. Whenever I told her I loved her, she would answer with a "me too" or just a simple smile and a kiss. I brushed it off each time because I thought that she was not ready but now it is all clear. She never loved me. I remember how extremely hard it was to get her on board with the idea of a relationship and I finally know why…**

"You know, the day when I told her that I had started to develop feelings for her, she told me not to. She told me that love is just an illusion. She told me to stay away from her because I would eventually end up getting hurt." **– I choke up, as tears stream out of my eyes. I quickly wipe them away and continue voicing my thoughts. -** "She warned me, but I didn't listen to her because I thought I could change her perspective of love… I should have listened to her."

"OK, that is enough. I will not let you actually believe the sentence that has just left your mouth. You love her and she loves you, too. I just know that."

"How could you possibly know that? You can't see into her head."

"I don't have to be able to do such thing, because the way she looked at you told me everything. She looked you with such admiration and love, the same way you looked at her… If that is not love, then I don't know what is."

"Why are you defending her? You didn't even like her."

"You have no clue how I felt or feel about her."

**That must be the most ridiculous thing I have heard in weeks and I surprisingly I feel a wholehearted laughter slip through lips. Oh God, it feels amazing to finally laugh again. I have missed this. As much as I have tried to deny it, I really did miss these free and informal conversations and laughter. Lately, all I seem to have done was drinking my sorrows away and sitting in my house alone.**

"Ok, I admit that at first I wasn't really fond of her… Or I literally hated her but I knew that she made you happy and because of that, I am happy… You love her, so she must be something special."

"Melissa…"

"Don't even try to deny it." **– She cries out, cutting me off before I could anything else. - **"You have never looked at me the way you looked at her."

"Well, that may be true but now I have moved on."

"Eddie, you can keep saying that to yourself but we know you better than you know yourself. She…"

**All of a sudden, she makes a quick stop, cutting herself off before she could have gone further. I see it in her eyes that she wants to continue but she finally realizes that there is no use in doing that and decides otherwise. It's not like there is anything else left to be said. She gently places her hand on my shoulder and gives it a little a squeeze, while trying to find the right words to declare her thoughts.**

"She really loved you. Always remember that!"

**Just like that, she stands up and with a reassuring smile on her face she walks away.**

* * *

**After an extremely long talk with myself, I have come to the decision that I am going to pass on this gig. I have really missed being on the stage and the feeling I always get when I see people wanting to hear my music. It is the reason why I do this after all. I do this because I want to make people happy. I want to inspire people to follow their dreams because that is what life is about. The world is too big to stay in one place and life is just too short to do only one thing. I realized that what I have been doing is wrong. It was wrong because I shouldn't have let the pain affect my life so much. I should have drawn from it and grow as a person. I should have, because from every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says, I survived.**

**Once I found a spot to park my SUV, I walk through the entrance of the club, drawing away the curtains and I step inside trying to avoid seeing my parents as much as I could manage, which seems almost impossible at the moment considering that they own the place. Walking further into the building, I take a note of the fact that it is unusually quiet in here, so much that I can hear my own heart beating. For a stranger this place would look like an old, beaten bar but for me, it brings out a set of pleasant childhood memories. At least, it used to… I was almost completely lost to my train of thoughts when I hear the all too familiar voices that belong to no other than my parents. They are standing by the bar with astonished looks on their faces.**

"Eddie?"

**I don't wait another second and quickly rush toward the corridor that leads to the dressing rooms. I know that I said that I would do things differently but I am still not ready to face them. It is just a lot to process.**

"Eddie, please stop! Why are you doing this?"

"I don't know maybe because you guys have been lying to me for the last 22 years of my life. I think I have a right to be angry at you _Max_."

**My father was about to say something but fortunately, at least for me, Jake walks through the entrance and saves me from any further interaction with them. **

"Here is the superstar. I am so glad that you made up your mind."

"Whatever, let's just get this thing over with."

"Alright. I was thinking that you should start off the night with…"

"Stop it, right there! I already know what I am going to play."

"Ok. What is it?"

"A new song."

"Eddie, I thought that we have already discussed this. You can't just go up there and…"

"I will play what I want to play. It's _my_ music, not yours, nor is it the label's. End of discussion."

**I walk away from him, making sure to bump my shoulder into his. It is enough that he is trying to tell me what to do with my personal life but I am not going to let him control my music, too. I slam the door of my dressing room and lie down on the couch, trying to relax and get my thoughts straight before I have to go on stage. This is the first time in months that I have to perform in front of a crowd and I am beyond excited. I know that I have been quite passive, lately but the conversation I had with Melissa made realize a couple of things regarding my life and well her. Now I see that I have never actually given her the opportunity to explain herself. Everybody is right. It is my fault entirely that she is gone and now I am paying for the consequences of my actions. My thoughts are pushed away from my mind when one of the stage managers comes into the room, letting me know that I have 5 minutes left until show time. The loud chatter of the people in the club fills up the whole building, keeping my mind from drifting away. I need to concentrate and give my best out there.**

"Hello! Thank you guys so much for coming out tonight. I appreciate it. I know that I have been kind of inactive, lately, but… Let's just say that I had some shit going on in the last couple of weeks and found some shocking things out. I hope you understand. This is a new song that I recently wrote for a special someone. I hope you guys like it."

_I know you're somewhere out there_

_Somewhere far away_

_I want you back_

_I want you back_

_My neighbors think I'm crazy_

_But they don't understand_

_You're all I had_

_You're all I had_

_[Chorus:]_

_At night when the stars light up my room_

_I sit by myself talking to the moon._

_Trying to get to you_

_In hopes you're on the other side talking to me too._

_Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?_

_Ohoooo..._

_I'm feeling like I'm famous_

_The talk of the town_

_They say I've gone mad_

_Yeah, I've gone mad_

_But they don't know what I know_

_Cause when the sun goes down_

_Someone's talking back_

_Yeah, they're talking back_

_Ohhh_

_[Chorus:]_

_At night when the stars light up my room_

_I sit by myself talking to the moon._

_Trying to get to you_

_In hopes you're on the other side talking to me too._

_Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?_

_Ahh... Ahh... Ahh..._

_Do you ever hear me calling?_

_(Ahh... Ahh... Ahh...)_

_Oh ohh oh oh ohhh_

_'Cause every night I'm talking to the moon_

_Still trying to get to you_

_In hopes you're on the other side talking to me too_

_Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?_

_Ohoooo..._

_I know you're somewhere out there_

_Somewhere far away_

_/Talking To The Moon by Bruno Mars/_

"I love you so much…"

**I whisper, feeling a single tear stream down my cheek. I don't even bother wiping it away because I know that there is no use in doing that. Over the last months, I have come to learn to hide my emotion quite well, not only at public but also in anywhere private and right now I am just forgetting everything. I jump from the piano bench, rushing off the stage without any sorts of goodbye whatsoever. I quickly storm toward a corridor on the left side of the room, in attempts to avoid the intense stares of the audience following every single one of my steps out of the building. Having all of those people looking at me all at once started to make me feel like I was suffocating and I was in desperate need of fresh air. Therefore I walked toward the metal doors on the back of the hallway and pushing them open, I entered a dark alleyway right behind the club. The stink of the garbage in the dumpsters near the metal doors hits my nose immediately and I try to get as far away from them as I can. The blistering blue neon lights of the small bar opposite the street are starting to hurt my eyes, making me look up at the sky. Ever since I could remember, I have always loved looking at the sky, particularly the moon, admiring the way it is uniquely popping out in the sea of stars surrounding it. In rapid couple of seconds, I realize it is full moon tonight, which brings me back to my childhood when my parents and I would go up the hill by our house and gaze at the stars together.**

**Just looking up at the infinite sky makes the fact how large this world actually is even more realistic. She could be anywhere right now. She could be in London, in Tokyo or in a country I have never even heard of. I may never see her again but I have to try. I have to try because if I don't I know that I would regret that for the rest of my life.**

**I remember how much we used to mean to each other. I loved her so much that I would have never thought I could love anybody else and now she is gone. I want that back. I miss her and I just can't break it to myself that it's over. As simple as that. Since I was young I have always known this: life damages us, everyone in every way possible and as sad as it sounds, we can't escape that damage.**

**She always had hope for whatever coming next and never once gave up until she got what she wanted. It was fascinating to watch her taking on the challenges of life and always coming out of them stronger than before, if that was even possible. I want to be like that.**

**I made the decision to try and find her and make everything better, because one of the most important things I have learnt from her is that I should**

_**Never Say Never.**_

**I don't really know if this makes any sense. I feel weird finally finishing this chapter after two months of writing. Actually, I feel weird finally updating a chapter after six months. I am sorry for being so MIA. Anyways…**

**Love,**

**~Bridgit.**

**Music credit: Talking To The Moon by Bruno Mars**

**Quote credits:**

"_**Missing someone isn't about how long since you've seen them or the amount of times you've talked to them. It's about that very moment when you're doing something and wishing they were right there with you"**_

"_**They say you don't get over someone until you find someone or something better. As humans, we don't deal well with emptiness. Any empty space must be filled. Immediately. The pain of emptiness is too strong. It compels the victim to fill that place. A single moment with that empty space causes excruciating pain. That's why we run from distraction to distraction – and from attachment to attachment" by Yasmin Mogahed**_

"_**The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too." by Ernest Hemingway, Men Without**_

"_**I grew up on the road with my parents. A very sheltered life. I didn't really have the ride of passage most of kids do. I never had my heart broken until now." from Hollywood Heights**_

"_**Love is untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused." by Paulo Coelho**_

"_**Since I was young I have always known this: life damages us, everyone. We can't escape that damage." by Veronica Roth from Allegiant**_

"_**From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says, I survived."**_


	3. Chapter 2 - I Have To Try

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Hollywood Heights or any of the characters. I don't know who does but the only thing I own is the plot and the possible characters I may add in the future.**_

* * *

_**Chapter 2**_

_**I Have To Try**_

"_**It's true that not everything is meant to be. But always remember that everything is at least worth a try."**_

_**One Year From Now On**_

_**Eddie's Point of View**_

"_**It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you  
There is nothing that a hundred men, or more, could  
ever do  
Just like the rain, down in Africa  
It's gonna take some time but I know you're worth  
fighting for  
I'd fight for you"**_

_**Fight For You by Jason Derulo**_

**No relationships are perfect. It'll hurt. It'll take time and dedication. It'll require willpower and sacrifice. There'll be temptations and you will need to push your body to its breaking point but once you have reached your goal, it will still be worth it. It'll be worth it because without love, we are nothing. I never knew that meeting her could have such a huge effect on my life. However, from the very first moment I laid my eyes on her she captured my attention and I knew that she was different from the others in a way that I could not explain. She has always been so closed-off, secretive and most of the time rude and cold towards the people around her but I still saw something in her. Something, that was worth all the energy that I have put into this relationship. Something, that I was desperate to learn more about. She was just a beautiful mystery I felt the need to solve. And I did. I solved her mystery. Or at least I thought so. Pain doesn't just show up in our lives for no reason. It's a sign that something in our lives needs to change. I was aware of the difficulties I had to face in order to have an actual relationship with this girl, but I never knew that it could get this far. We were wonderful together. Everything was going well for us and just like that in a fraction of seconds, it was all shattered and turned into a complete disaster. I have been walking back and forth in the alley for the past three hours, simply just trying to clear my head and calm down my heartbeat. I am still under the effect of my song and the only thing I want right now is to leave and never come back.**

"Eddie?"

**My pacing comes to end as soon as I hear a voice, coming from the metal doors of the club. I slowly turn my head towards its direction, but I have to make a quick double-check, when I see my brother standing there, looking at me with worry all over his features. I walk to over the side of the building and slide down to the pavement, waiting for him to follow my lead. Once he does, I break the awkward silence that has taken over the air in the meantime.**

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question. How come you came to the concert in the first place?"

"You are very well-aware of the fact that I have never missed any of your concerts and I am not going to break that habit. I was the very first supporter of your career."

"Indeed, you were."

**I answer, smirking lightly at the memory of my brother buying my first album. He was only 16 years old and very excited to be a part of taking my career to the next level. I wish we could go back to that time when we were just a happy family and I didn't know that my father is not my father, and my brother is only my half-brother. Sometimes I wish life was a remote. It would just be so much easier to play the easy times, pause the good times, fast forward the bullshit and finally rewind the memories.**

"You still haven't answered my question." **– He says, looking down at his shoes.** **I turn my head to get a quick glance of him. Most of his body is covered by the darkness of the alley, but I'm able to make out that his posture is stern and he seems to be feeling guilty about something, even though he is trying to hide it. Patrick is very good at masking up his emotions but I could always see through it. I know my brother better than I know myself… As much as it hurt to have found about being somebody else's son, he is still my brother and I am still his brother. No matter what, we will always be there for each other.**

"I thought that getting back on stage would make things easier, but… it didn't and I just needed escape from all the craziness in there."

"And how do you feel now that you've performed again?"

"I feel weird. I am still unsure about what I want to do but I feel like that I'm definitely getting closer to making a decision."

"That's good."

**I nod, agreeing to what he is saying. I really am unsure about what, how, when or even if I should do it whatsoever. Shaking my head, I put it in my palms on the top of my knees, heaving a sigh that I didn't even know I was holding. Decisions are the hardest thing to make, however, sometimes the smallest decisions can make the biggest change in your life.**

"I have been thinking about the last two weeks of my life and I… I realized that eventually everybody is going to hurt me… I just have to find the right one who is worth suffering for."

"What do you mean?"

"I may have been hurt by what Loren did but all of you guys were right. I have never really given her a chance to explain why she did what she did. I just told her to leave without even thinking about the consequences of my poor choice of words."

"It's great that you can finally admit that to yourself. I am happy for you." **– He says, sending a genuine smile towards me. It almost looks like he's already forgiven me. It's quite hard for me to understand how he can forgive me so fast and be so understanding. I let out a quiet snort, turning my head away from him, unable to look him in the eyes. I've hurt him so many times in the last few weeks that I cannot even count. I assume that my snort seemed skeptical to him because of what he says next. -** "No, I am truly happy for you. All I can tag onto what you've just said that it's your decision. If you want to get her back, then fight for her with each fiber of your being. However, if you don't, then don't waste your time looking back on what you've lost. Move on, for life is not meant to be traveled backwards."

**Each and every time when he tries to cheer me up like that, I can't help letting a smirk take over my face. My little brother is my rock and it feels so good to know that he's got my back no matter what. These intimate conversations between us also makes my heart crumple a little bit, knowing of all the words I have said to him. He was just trying to get me to realize that family is more powerful than a piece of information, no matter how hurtful it is.**

"Listen, Patrick, I don't expect you to forgive me right away because I have said a lot of awful things to you over the past two weeks but I want you to know that I am really sorry for everything."

**I rub my hands down my face, as I apologize to him, trying to get it out as fast as possible. Laying my head against the concrete wall of the building, I turn my head toward the street because I do not dare to look at him. It feels very good to have that out in the open. However, I am afraid that his answer to my declaration will not be the one that I hope for. I feel tightness in my chest and my heartbeat quickens as I wait for his answer. I guess, lately, I have been obvious to how much I need my brother and how afraid I actually am to lose him. I am aware that an apology will not solve everything and there is still very much to be done, in order for us to get back on track but it's a good start to get us back to the way we once were.**

"Eddie, you know that you don't have to apologize for anything. You were upset and I understand. I would've been upset, too."

"Yes, but I…"

"Yes, you have said a lot of hurtful things but I have too, so we're even." **– He says, letting out a small chuckle while he puts his hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. -** "About those hurtful things, I want to…"

"Don't even dare to start! There is nothing for you to apologize for because you were right. Had you not been a little pushy about Loren, I would have never realized that I had someone amazing and I just couldn't let her go so simply." **– I cut him off at the very moment he attempted to begin with an apology. It is ridiculous that he even thinks that he has something to apologize for. However, on the other hand, I have so much to say sorry for. There is a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach as I turn my body towards him and begin to admit my mistakes. My chest is filled with tightness and I feel my palms starting to sweat. Never have I been good at admitting my mistakes. -** "Yes, it was really hard to admit that to myself but you guys finally helped me see clear and I have a new perspective on everything."

"How do you see things now?"

**I straighten my posture as I get ready to answer the question that I have been avoiding for the last couple of weeks. Having been living in denial for so long, it is quite hard for me to voice my thoughts at the moment. I look into my brother's green orbs and see nothing but genuine concern and curiosity, drawing some courage from them to continue my speech.**

"I know now that I am partly the reason for Loren's departure. I know now that everything happens for a reason... Had I not found out about this when I did, it may have come up some time later and would have caused even bigger problems." **– I take a deep breath. - **"I made the decision to try and find her."

**I have had some trouble coming to terms with the events of the last two weeks to say the least, but I've also realized that no relationships are perfect. It'll hurt. It'll take time and dedication. It'll require willpower and sacrifice. There'll be temptations and you will need to push your body to its breaking point but once you have reached your goal, it will still be worth it. It'll be worth it because without love, we are nothing.**

"Are you sure that you want to do this?" **– My brother's concerned voice breaks me away from my train of thoughts **

"She is the love of my life and I am not just going to bow to an ending like this. I have to try and make things work."

**I say confidently, in attempt to try to make myself believe that it is in fact possible. I am not sure how it will turn out. I am not sure whether she will want to talk to me again or not but if you find someone that you think is your soul-mate, you could potentially spend the rest of your life with, it is worth a try. I am completely aware of the fact that things might not turn out the way I would like them to but it was my choice to not listen to her at the first place and now it is my responsibility to make up for my wrongdoing.**

"And what if you don't succeed?"

"Should things turn out other than planned, I am going to move on. It's completely up to her whether or not our relationship will continue but I just have to try. I can't move on without trying."

**It's true. I have to at least try to straighten things up and get a fresh start with Loren. Nonetheless, it is up to her to decide the fate of our relationship. I know that we are both at fault about this matter; however, I am ready to forgive her, if she is ready to forgive me.**

"Do you need any help? **– My circle of thoughts is cut off, when Patrick speaks up surprising me with his question.**

"I can't ask you to do that."

"Eddie, you were not asking. I'm offering my help and all you need to do is accept it."

"Patrick…"

"Eddie… Where do we start?"

**I let a small sigh leave between my lips as I look at my brother's face. The way his mouth curled into a mischievous grin and the small glint he has in the bottom of his eyes make it hard to suppress the smile that has just occupied my face. It shouldn't surprise me one bit by now that my brother would say that but it still does. Aside from happiness about his forgiveness, there is a small trace of panic deep in my chest, because to be honest I actually have no idea where we should start our search for the girl of my dreams. However, after such a day, full of lessons and discoveries, I don't give up. The only thing that keeps going is the small amount of hope of finding her, because hope isn't a dream but a way of making dreams become reality. It's the things you fight for and struggle with before earing that have the greatest worth.**

* * *

**The next day has come as fast as the last had gone and now we are on our way to Nora Tate's restaurant at the downtown of Los Angeles. After our conversation in the alleyway, my brother and I decided to get back to my penthouse before anyone else would have discovered where we were. Calling it a night at around 2am, the only reasonable plan we managed to come up with is paying Nora a visit to find out whether she had been in contact with Loren over her 5-week-long absence. The nearer we get to her house, the more difficult it becomes for me to stop my feet from fidgeting, considering it is our one and only plan to find Loren. A couple of minutes later, my brother pulls up to her driveway and stops the car from working. Without the loud roaring of my brother's truck, the air fills up with silence and it finally becomes clear to me that if I screw this up, the chances of finding Loren would be ten times lower than before.**

"There is something that you should know before we go inside… Nora isn't my biggest fan right now."

"It may come as a surprise to you, but I kind of assumed that given your history with both of her cousins. Or should I say one of her cousins?" **– He says, as an awkward laughter leaves his mouth.**

"Let's get inside" **– I chuckle, shoving him playfully on the shoulder before climbing out of the passenger seat.**

**As soon as my feet hit the pavement in the parking lot, the air fills up with the sound of numerous cameras and the paparazzi's hustle as they try to get a picture of me and my brother. I swear these guys come out of nowhere. Not even one second ago the parking lot was completely empty and now it is full of desperate and ruthless people, who earn their money from trying to destroy other people's lives, including mine. I quickly push my way through the crowd with Patrick following my lead and I shield my face with my sunglasses and the hood of the sweatshirt I am wearing. The brown mahogany double doors of the two story building come into my sight and I quicken my pace, dragging my brother with me by his elbow.**

**Stepping inside the building, I take a look around the place and notice Nora standing behind the dark marble counter quietly humming as she looks through a bunch of papers. The ground floor of her house has been turned into a restaurant and now it's one of the most popular places across the country. Despite its popularity, the restaurant is quite small and it can only hold 30 people at most. However, it is the favorite of many millionaires and celebrities since no paparazzi is allowed inside.**

**It's been so long since the last time I was here, that I actually forget how much I liked to spend my days here growing up. I remember doing our homework with Melissa and Ian as we were waiting for the adults to finish up business in the other room. The bright red walls of this place hold many good memories, but it also stings in my heart a little bit as I walk further into the room since it is the place where I first met Loren. We walk along the small lines of round glass tables with a couple of black leather chairs around them toward the counter where Nora is still seated. It is a little bit after noon, so the place is packed, but luckily nobody really seems to be surprised by my presence.**

"Well, I certainly didn't expect to see you guys here." **– She exclaim, putting back the papers into their folder and stands up, walking closer to us still behind the counter.**

"Hello Nora."

**I greet her, nodding my head and come to a stop next to one of the bar stools. I set my hands on the countertop and lean against it a little bit as I glance at one of the waiters next to Nora. The brunet was looking at me with curious eyes, of course waiting for something juicy as my response. However, he seemed to have gotten the message as he bows his head at his boss and walks away, attending to some of the customers, who has just come in.**

"What can I help you with boys?"

"We were hoping to talk to you about something." **– I answer, hoping that she will agree and not send us away right off the bat.**

"And by something you mean**?" – She asks, tilting her head to the side as she raises her eyebrow waiting for one of us to explain our reason for coming here.**

"Look, I know that you're not my biggest fan right now, but you need to understand that Loren-"

"Eddie, we've talked about this…"

"Nora, please you have to help us find her! I cannot just move on from this relationship without trying to make things right, at least once."

"Let's take this into the office. You certainly don't want unnecessary ears to hear this conversation, do you?"

**I simply nod at her and follow her down the narrow hall of way at the back of the room. We reach a black mahogany door at the end with the sign "NO STAFF ALLOWED" on the middle of it with golden letters. Briefly turning my head backwards, I do a quick check if my brother followed us and to my delight, he did. A few more minutes of silence pass by as we climb up the staircase and come face to face with the spacious and bright living room. Over the duration of my relationship with Loren, I spent quite a few nights here and memorized the place completely. The wooden floor creaks beneath my feet as I near the L shaped white leather couch right next to the floor-to-ceiling windows, while Nora retreats down the hallway toward the bedrooms at the back of the apartment.**

"Don't worry; everything is going to be fine!" **– I hear Patrick saying, as he takes a seat next to me on the couch.**

**I silently nod and simply focus my gaze on a picture on the wall opposite us near the fireplace in attempt to reduce my anxiety as we wait for Nora to reappear. Time seems to stand still as I take a look around the living room, noting that nothing really has changed since the last time I was up here. I don't exactly know why I am so worried or even what I expect to get from this conversation. I hear footsteps coming from the direction of the hallway and turn my head a little bit to get a better view, only to see Nora coming toward the couch with a box in her hand.**

"I thought that you might want these back." **– She exclaims, putting down a small rectangular box on the glass coffee table in front of us. -** "I was cleaning out Loren's room earlier this week and found these."

**At the mention of Loren's name, my heart misses a beat and I am afraid to see what could be in that box. I scoot forward and reach for the box, placing it on my lap. It doesn't hold that much of a weight; therefore I start to wonder what could be in it. At the moment, nothing comes to mind that I could have left here, so I quickly take off the lid and proceed to go through the contents of the small container. The first thing that captures my attention is the black hoodie neatly folded on the top. I remember giving it to Loren when we were on our fourth or fifth date. We had just had a picnic on my favorite spot up on the hill behind our house and the weather got chiller than I had expected. She had had nothing else on expect for a tank top and a pair of skinny jeans, so being the gentleman that I am, I gave her my hoodie. Eventually it had stayed with her, saying that it has become her favorite piece of clothing and it looked so much better on her than me, anyways. I briefly smile at the memory and go on with my search. I am very well aware that not each of these things would hold fond memories, but I just cannot help myself. The next piece in particular makes me frown instead of smiling and I quickly shove it in the pocket of my jacket, not giving it another glance. It's the charm bracelet I gave her for our six months anniversary and it's special due to the charms I've added onto it each time something important happened in our relationship. Seeing those charms brings back all the memories… I just can't allow that to happen, at least not now. There are several more things in the box, for example gifts I have given her and last but not least, a photograph of me holding her with her back to my front.**

"I'm sorry if this makes old wounds open up again. That was not my intention." **– She said looking down at her hands, as a trace of guilt flashed across her face.**

"Thank you for your concern, but it doesn't matter right now. What matters is Loren… and Nora, we really need to talk about her!" **– I was quick to answer and to change the subject, not giving myself any more time to think about Loren. It might have hurt to see those things together in that small box, packed up and closed away from the rest of the world. It was like a sign that whatever happened between them, it was final, and Loren packed it up, let it go and moved on.**

"You hurt Loren badly, Eddie… She was afraid to trust people, afraid to fall in love, to get close to anyone and you made her fear come true. _You. _The last person she would have expected it from." **\- The way she list all the harms I have done to her over the period of our relationship makes this fiasco even more real and the ache in my heart even more painful. I nod, acknowledging what she has just said and answer her with complete honesty and confidence.**

"I understand that… To be honest with you, I've had enough time to think everything over and to table what I was feeling… I realized that I'd made a mistake and you're right, I hurt her. _Badly_. Nevertheless, I just want to find her and quite frankly, I miss her." **– I take a quick pause and catch my breath, preparing myself for what I am about to say next. -** "All I want is to have one single conversation and to straighten it up with her. Should she not want that, I'll leave her alone for the rest of her life"

**I feel relief spread through my chest as the last couple of words slip through my lips and it gives me the power to look from my shoes, the spot I have been staring at for the entire duration of my little speech.** **However, as good as I feel about finally getting my feelings about the situation off my chest; I can still sense Nora's hesitancy. Therefore, I lean forward a little bit, placing my hands on my knees and look straight into her eyes, in attempt to show her how serious I am.**

"However, in order for me to do that, I have to know where she is and that is where you come into the picture."

"Eddie, Loren made it pretty clear to me the last time I saw her that she doesn't want to be found. And anyways, she hasn't even told anyone where she'd gone, nor contacted us."

"You knew her the best and you were the closest person to her. I was just hoping that she might ha- Wait! When was the last you talked her?" **\- I am ready to protest and list all the facts why she should help me with this when suddenly something catches my ears. As far as I know, Loren skipped town without any kind of notification to anybody, whatsoever. There was no phone call, text message or even a goodbye-letter.**

"About two weeks ago why?"

"Loren left a month ago."

**I whisper with a knowing look on my face as I watch a flash of horror cross and the way she slowly realizes that she has been caught. She tries to keep a straight face and pretend like she has no idea what I am talking about, but I have known Nora ever since I can remember. She has become like a second mother to me and as much as I am able to tell what she is feeling whenever I would like to, she has the exact same power on me.**

"Eddie, it hurt me as much as it hurt you when Loren left but I made a promise not to tell anyone about her whereabouts."

"So, you _do_ know where she is?"

**I ask, clenching my fists as I feel a wave of anger flash through each fiber of my being. Nora has been a quite important part of my life since the beginning and it is really hard for me to process the lies I have been just told. I understand where Nora is coming from but she was aware of the torment I have been going through for the last month. I think she can sense my stares at the back of her head because all of sudden she looks from her shoes and turns around, snapping at me.**

"Yes, you caught me. I _did_ know where she _was_."

"Why does that past tense sound so troubling to me?" **– I hear Patrick ask as he puts a hand on my shoulder, clearly in attempt to get me to calm down.**

"That may be because I don't know anymore. They had to move out of their temporary accommodation and I haven't heard from her ever since then."

"Great, that is just great." **– I answer, rubbing my hands down my face as I attempt to rid myself from my frustration. I know that I seriously need to calm because we are not going to get anything done with me in a state like this. The moment my breathing begins to even out, I replay Nora's last sentence in my head and tilt my head toward her, raising my eyebrows in question. -** "Wait, what you mean by they? Who is she living with?"

"Oh, did I just say they? I meant her."

"Nora…"

"Eddie, no! You are not going to get anything out of me. If she didn't talk about him to you then neither will I."

"It's a he, huh. Did she move on already?"

"No, that is not the case!"

"Then what is the case Nora? I am so tired of living in a constant confusion. I feel like I don't even know the love of my life anymore."

"Eddie, please stop it!"

"Why should I stop?!"

"It's not my secret to tell, that's why!" **– She shouts, catching both of us off guard as she stands up and walks up toward the staircase that leads to the back of the restaurant. -** "I think it's time for you to leave boys."

**For a fraction of seconds, I just sit on the couch with a stunned look on my face, not even recognizing one of the most important people in my life right now. Nora has been like a second mother for me for my entire life, always being there for me and giving me the support that I needed, but not right now. Right now she is denying me the closure to move past all of this. I understand that Loren has become a significant part of her life, as well; however, I think the both of us would be better off, if we just straightened this up.**

"Come on, Eddie. Let's go!"

**I feel a hand being placed on my shoulder, momentarily distracting me from the anger I am feeling right now. I glance at Patrick and I see that his eyes are fixated on mine, attempting to tell me to let go and leave. I was certain that by coming here we could get something more done, however, instead of that I found out another lie and I don't how many more I can take. The worst thing about being lied to is knowing that you weren't worth the truth. Once I would have trusted Loren with my life, but right now I am not sure I could still do that. Trust is like blood pressure. It's silent, vital to good health, and if abused it can be deadly. I shook my head, trying to control my anger and stand up from the couch, storming out of her apartment. As soon as I get to the end of the stairwell, I turn into the hallway and rush out of the building, almost knocking over one of the waiters as he is tending to the guests at the table near the exit. The moment I set foot into the parking lot, a bunch of photographers surrounds me and somewhere in the distance I hear my brother calling out my name, as I am trying to push my way through them. In a couple of more minutes, I finally reach the car and get inside, shoving the last couple of reporters out of the way. I know that I should help out my brother out there, but right now I am too pissed off to be standing in front a whole sea of people with cameras. I lean my head against the window and let out deep, long breaths of air, as I wait for Patrick to finally take me away from here.**

"Don't worry! We are going to find her!" **– Patrick says, as soon as he gets in the vehicle and starts the engine, hitting several times, in attempt to get the paparazzi out of the way.**

"What if we don't?" **– I don't know how much time has passed when I finally answer him, feeling the insecurities build up inside of me.**

"You said it yourself, that you are going to do things differently from now on, so don't you dare ask that question one more time!"

* * *

**I am sorry of the delay of this chapter but I have had a lot going on lately and haven't had any time to write. It was supposed to be a longer one, however I decided to cut it short and transport the last part to the next chapter, so I could finally get a chapter out. I really hope that you liked it and I am already working on the next chapter, in which you will find out some things about why Loren left. I have exams in the next two months so it might take some time but I will try my best.**

**Much Love,**

**hherforlife17**

* * *

**Quote Credits:**

**Trust is like blood pressure. It's silent, vital to good health, and if abused it can be deadly.**

**If you have someone worth fighting for, then fight for her!**

**I wish life was a remote. Play the easy times. Pause the good times. Fast forward the bullshit. Rewind the memories.**

**Don't waste your time looking back on what you've lost. Move on, for life is not meant to be traveled backwards.**

**It's the things you fight for and struggle with before earing that have the greatest worth.**

* * *

**Answers To Your Reviews:**

_**Review: "I really loved this. I can't wait to see where you take the story. Great start! Glad your back." by Holly**_

_**Answer: "Thank you! It means a lot to me that you liked the chapter! I am glad to be back, as well!"**_

_**Review: "This is reallyyy good and it was such a long update :)))) plssss update ur other stories too" by Guest**_

_**Answer: Thank you so much for review! I am glad you like the chapter. I am sorry to disappoint you but I have mentioned it in an Author's Note a while ago that it is hard for me to write chapters for twelve different stories, therefore I would like to concentrate on writing only one and actually finishing it. Thank you for understanding!**_

_**Review: "Good job I hope you update your other stories too...waiting and wanting more merry Christmas and a happy new year" by Guest**_

_**Answer: "Thank you for review! I am happy you liked the chapter. I hope you've had a good time during the holidays. I have mentioned it in an Author's Note a while ago that it's hard for me to write chapters for twelve different stories, therefore I would like to concentrate on writing only one and actually finishing it. Thank you for understanding!**_


	4. Chapter 3 - The Darkness of The Past

_**Disclaimer: The only two things I own in this story are the plot and the possible characters I may add in the future. I do not own anything recognizable from the television series Hollywood Heights. All of that belongs to Nickelodeon and Viacom Media Networks.**_

_**Chapter 3**_

_**The Darkness of The Past**_

"_**Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair."**_

_**It doesn't matter where we are going, nor does it matter how quickly we try to get there. It doesn't matter that we never look back; the secrets we have kept hidden will always find a way to come into the light and haunt us.**_

_**It doesn't matter how much we try to keep them in the dark, people in our lives will eventually find out about them, causing not only them but also us unbearable pain. Even so, we know it is wrong we do it, anyways, because we think we are protecting our loved ones by keeping them in dark, not realizing that we are only hurting them more than it is necessary. Secrets. They have the possibility to make someone happy, to hurt a person or even to change somebody's entire life.**_

_**As much as Eddie wanted to find Loren, he has never thought that it is possible to feel more hurt than when she left. He has never thought the distance between us could grow even bigger. He has never expected this to be her secret.**_

**Earlier This Week**

**Eduardo Anthony Duran has never really had the chance to get to know real pain over the course of his life. Of course, there have been a few incidents involving painful wounds and scars from an adventurous childhood and the obvious heartbreaks from naïve and teenage loves. No matter how hard he tried, none of those feelings could be compared to what he is feeling right now. And the worst thing about all of this is that it is only getting worse.**

**Leaving the restaurant in a hurry, Eddie and Patrick are now sitting in the car and apart from the soft music coming from the radio, the vehicle is filled with complete and utter silence leaving the two men in a rather intense and stressful situation. Still deep in thought about their encounter with Nora, the older brother is staring out of the window watching the buildings and the palm trees of the Sunset Boulevard, while the other one is debating between options of how to address the Loren-sized elephant in the room.**

**Patrick is doing his very best to try and stay focused on the road, however, he cannot help the occasional glances toward his companion just because of his worry for Eddie's state of mind and his overdue reaction to the information the two of them has just learned. He can hear the wheels in his brother's head turn with a 100 miles per minute and judging by the expression plastered on his face, he can also see that his blood is boiling, probably at the thought of his ex-girlfriend living with another man. There is something else that the boy knows, as well, and it is the fact that one should never jump to conclusions too quickly. There could easily be a suitable explanation for the situation. He wants to say that to him. He wants to assure him that Loren would never cheat on him but he can't. Eddie agreed to this willingly and with the knowledge of the only two possible outcomes for this to end with. With more pain or with happiness and joy. He eventually comes to the decision that it would be best, if he let him work through this on his own. With that still on his mind, Patrick spares one last glance at his brother only to take note of the changes his features have made in the meantime. It can be seen that he is thinking of coming around but still needs a push to completely fall over that certain edge.**

**Eddie knows that he should be more trusting toward the girl of his dreams, not only because of his love for her but also because it is clear that she had more of a difficult past than she let on. Sure, she has told many lies but in spite of all that, a woman, who opens her heart to love you, when it's already been broken, is braver than any person you'll meet.**

**Couple of minutes must have passed until he finally feels like he is better and that his head is put back together again and speaks up quietly, probably not above the volume of whisper. - **"I'm sorry." **– He is aware that there is so much more to say but settled with these two simple words thinking that it is a good-enough way to start the conversation.**

"What are you sorry for?"

**The neutral expression on Eddie's face freezes for a second, not having expected his brother to ask that question. He takes his time gathering his thoughts and tries to come up with the best answer because he knows that Patrick very much deserves it. He takes in a deep and long breath drawing some courage to speak from the soft and understanding look in his brother's eyes. He leans back on his seat and watches the road in front of him while allowing words to slip through his lips. - **"I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. You're right, I shouldn't instantly jump to conclusions… but the near thought of Loren being with somebody else made me frustrated." **– He answers with total honesty and curls his hands into fists as an attempt to work through the frustration deep inside his belly. It was hard enough to calm down after what happened at the restaurant and he would do no good to anyone, if he got himself even more worked-up over this situation. He needs to be at his very best, calm and most composed version of himself for his plan to actually work out.**

**There is a small time gap between the end of his sentence and the moment Patrick finally proceeds to speak up. It goes without saying that it is understandable for both Eddie and Patrick to take their much needed time with voicing their thoughts, clearly attempting to avoid saying something they would regret. With everything that is happening, it hasn't been easy for either them, lately.**

**Over the course of this small gap, Patrick seems to have put his thoughts in order, while on the other hand, it left Eddie with a train of unpleasant memories circling around in his mind, instantly filling his core up with guilt and regret. During his darkest times, when he was doing his very best to push everyone away, Patrick stayed and supported him. He put up with his pathetic self-pity and each of his hateful remarks about everybody and everything around him without even a retort. He has been his rock throughout all of this. That is proven to him even more when he finally hears his answer.**

"I understand that and I know that this situation must be really hard for you but you have got to be more patient when it comes to her. You said it yourself that if you never did anything to find Loren, you would regret it for the rest of your life."

"Yes, I remember. That is why I already figured out what our next step will be."

"What is it?"

"Is there somewhere you could turn around? We are going to pay a visit to MK."

**The young man behind the steering wheel is** **surprised and confused by his brother's request and for a second diverts his attention from the road to Eddie furrowing his eyebrows in question. When Patrick is received nothing from his older brother whatsoever, he fixates his eyes on him once again noticing the seriousness and determination on his features. The realization of the fact that Eddie actually wants to do this hits him hard and he begins to search for the nearest chance to turn the car around. Less than a minute later, they get back on the road and make their way to their parents' night club sitting next to each other in silence once again. Only this time, it isn't awkward or intense. It is comforting and allows Eddie to think over what he actually wants to do.**

**The single idea of seeing Max and Katy again leaves Eddie quite unsettled and apprehensive. He fights hard to keep his thoughts in check but it is very difficult to act as a mature adult instead of distraught child whose life has been turned upside down by a life-long secret completely out of the blue. One moment later, he is overwhelmed with emotions and has to take in several long and deep breath in order for him to regain his composure. - **"I can do this. I can do this. I can do this." **–** **He murmurs the sentence under his breath as kind of a mantra and walks inside the building with resoluteness in his steps. On the other side of the curtain, Eddie is welcomed by the sight of two enormous bouncers turned away from the entrance. The sound of his footsteps attracts their attention and they look up, their faces reflecting the shock of seeing the bosses' son enter the club almost instantly. Eddie diverts his look between the two large men and recognizes one of them recalling his name to be John. However, the other one doesn't familiar to him at all making it obvious that he must have been hired by his parents recently. They need a couple of minutes to recover from their earlier state and once they are back to the real world, they attempt to act normally again. Unfortunately, seeming to have failed at the task horribly, as still being obvious to the fact that they are blocking the boy from entering the club. Once the realization of their mistake hits John, he quickly steps aside from the cordon and lets the brunet pass through looking at him with an apologetic expression. Eddie returns the gesture with a small nod of reassurance before he slowly walks down the familiar pathway that leads to the main room of the building. It is still strangely earie and quiet in here, missing the usual dancing bodies and carefree laughter and chatter.**

**Numerous memories resurface as Eddie makes his way down the corridor and looks at the brick walls decorated with pictures and different awards from his parents' golden age. The memory of the day Max and Katy brought him and his brother here for the first lives still vividly in his mind. He remembers being fascinated with this place and the desire to discover every single inch of it. He and Patrick would always chase each other in these hallways, or they would simply stare at their parents in awe as they were on stage performing. This is the place where he fell in love with music, promising himself that one day he would be singing on that stage, too. Finally, he remembers the feeling of home filling up every single fiber of his body while being here. For some people it would be hard to associate this old and definitely-not-homey-looking place with home but it posed as no difficulty for him.**

**However, one lesson that life has taught him is that when things are good, they never last. Just like that the brief moment of reminiscing comes to abrupt stop and the fond memories are quickly replaced with unpleasant ones. As painful as it is to think about those times, he doesn't seem to find the strength in himself to stop his subconscious from going back to that day around a month ago. The truth about his father's identity came into light and what is worse, he has never seen Loren again ever since then. His heart falls a little bit, as he remembers having it broken here for the first time. He shakes his head slightly, trying to get rid of the uneasiness and put the focus back on the purpose of this visit, quickening his pace toward his destination.**

**The first thing he encounters as he steps around the corner is the sight of his father sitting at the bar with glass of what it seems to be scotch in his hand and a pile of papers around him. He looks completely obvious to the outside world as he goes through them taking small sips from his glass from time to time. Other people would say that he seems focused on his work but Eddie can see that his mind is somewhere else. He seems exhausted and looks like he has aged 10 years since the last time he saw him. His hair is a bit darker gray and he looks he has lost weight. Although he cannot see his entire face because of his position, he is still able to make out the small bags under his eyes.**

**He diverts a look from his father and takes a look around the place looking for somebody else. Apart from Max, the only person present in the room is Grace, their bartender, who is currently cleaning the counter and the members of tonight's band, who are doing sound check and getting everything ready for the evening. The club seems completely ready to be filled up with people. It's cleaned up, each of the booths and tables are tidied and brand new bottles of different kinds of liquor are placed next to numerous freshly washed glasses in the bar.**

**He is so focused on small details of the room that he almost fails to notice Max's change of position and his raised eyebrows at the sight of him. - **"Well, I have to say I haven't exactly expected to see you for a while." **– He speaks up, the surprise of Eddie's unexpected and out-of-the-blue visit clearly evident in his voice, as well as on his face. - **"Don't worry; I'm not here to see you." **– Eddie is quick to retort and shakes his head a little bit, in attempt to put on a blank camouflage. He has his opinion about the situation with his father but he knows that now is not time to be emotional and he will do his very best to keep to that, while carrying on with his task.**

**With determination in each of his movements, he goes round the bar and towards the door right under the staircase leading to an old, beat-up apartment. Having spent almost his entire childhood here, Eddie knows this place like the back of his hand. He opens the door and is about to step over the threshold of the backroom where his mother usually is before opening. As luck would have it, Eddie and Katy happen to open the door at the same time, which makes the brunette loose her balance and send the glasses in her hand flying to the ground, shattering into millions of pieces. Eddie's reaction is swift and he quickly reaches out to catch his mother before she falls into the sea of shards of glass on the pavement. For a couple of minutes, silence fills the atmosphere of the room, the sound of the chorusing glasses attracting the attention of everybody to the scene between mother and son. He is beginning to feel uncomfortable under the stares of the others, therefore he tries to help his mother regain her balance as quick as possible and then he takes a step backwards looking anywhere but the woman in front of him. Katy on the other hand is still under the impact of the prior incident and it takes her a few more second to completely put herself back together. Her face still seeps of anger and judgement, as she is henceforward looking down not acknowledging the person in front of her. She is about to bite Eddie's head off when she lifts her gaze taking his face in, realization hitting her hard. - **"Eddie? Oh my God, I'm so happy to see you here. I…"** \- She exclaims acting even more surprised than Max to see her son standing there. Her face reflects happiness and relief at the sight of him and the broken glasses are quickly forgotten as she steps over them attempting to pull her son into a hug. Surprisingly, her appearance displays the same features as Max's making it clear to Eddie that he wasn't the only one suffering through this situation. Had the circumstances played out otherwise, Eddie would probably feel bad for his parents on one hand, nevertheless it is outweighed by the other one which assures him that Loren is more important than anything right now. - **"Cut the crap!" **– He is aware of how incredibly rude he is being to his own mother but still cuts her off hastily without the consideration of his mother's feelings and how much his tone must hurt her. It must have come as a shock to Katy because all of a sudden her smile drops and disappointment along with resentment plasters on her face. She looks like she is on the edge of tears, words seeming to have failed her, as well.**

**As hard as it is for Eddie to admit, she doesn't deserve to be talked to like that because that is simply the opposite of what they raised him to be. These kind of thoughts remind him of a saying his grandmother used to tell him each and every time he somehow was disrespectful toward his parents. Every time she would present Eddie with small bits of advice however there is a particular one that stuck with him. She would always say **_**'My sweet Eddie… Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the people who taught you to speak'**_**. She told him to never let his emotions get the better of him whatever the situation might be. He didn't really understand it back than as much as he does now, as only years of living in the Hollywood spotlight made Eddie realize how much he actually owes his parents. He feels extreme gratitude for the life they have given him, however, being lied to for almost your entire life is not an easy thing to forgive.**

"Excuse me?"

"I didn't come here to talk; I didn't come here to forgive. I came here because for once in my life I really need you to be honest with me." **– Eddie turns his body away from his mother and puts his hand on his forehead trying to slow down his breathing and fighting to regain his composure for the conversation that is about to happen. Anger and frustration will not do any good to anybody in this situation and he needs to be as clear-headed as possible, if he wants to get any information whatsoever. There is only one thing he needs to focus on and he will do his best to keep to that even if circumstances were to become worse. This has been going for far too long leaving only pain, disappointment and destruction behind and the time has come to finally put an end to it. Eddie is tired of being kept in the dark making him feel like he let the control of his life simply slip through his fingers. He has put up with the secrets for a very long time and he has had enough. He wants to get it back. He needs to get it back.**

**Katy takes her time before forming a proper response while taking a small step backwards, her eyes filled with disappointment, disbelief and hurt. It hurts. He is hurting her. Nevertheless, she understands the reasons and deduction behind his anger but it is painful to see one of her children acting so angry and so cold toward her given that she literally cannot bring up a time when he raised his voice. His behavior makes it easier for her to see the seriousness of the situation and to realize that all his son needs right now is honesty. It could unfortunately be more of a difficult task than it seems because of her and Max's tendency to protect their kids with anything and everything including lying to them if necessary. What they tend to forget in the meantime is that certain type of lies could cause more pain than anything else. - **"Of course."

"I want you to tell me how you know Loren."

**Eddie is quick to forward his request not wasting any time as so much has been already lost with doing unnecessary and unimportant things. There are many emotions flashing across her face, however, the most visible one is confusion. She desperately tries to make sense of her son's request but it poses more of a difficulty than it supposedly should. After everything they have gone through, she genuinely wants to answer his question with complete honesty. There is only one thing stopping her. She is not quite sure how she could.**

**Eddie patiently waits a couple of minutes for Katy to sort out her thoughts, but after a short while he convinces himself that he will most definitely not be received the answer that he was hoping for. He all of sudden doesn't know what he was thinking coming here. This was definitely probable since he has woefully known all along that there would be no guarantee for his parents' honesty. He casts her with one last scornful glare before walking past her with the intention of getting out of here as quickly as possible. Katy on the other hand is thinking otherwise when all of a sudden she speaks up causing Eddie to slightly slow down his steps. **

"Why would you ask me that question?"

"It's not important, just answer it!"

"Well, you introd…"**\- She doesn't get to fully finish her sentence because of Eddie's rapid interruption signaling his dissatisfaction with the answer he was about to get. - **"Don't you dare tell me because I introduced you two. I know that it's more than that. I saw that shocked look on her face the first you guys met and it was not because she was fan. It was something else but I have never actually called her out on it because I thought she would eventually tell me."

"Eddie, I promise you that I am being completely sincere when I tell you that the first time I met that girl was when you had introduced us."

"I don't believe you." **– The tone of his voice is firm and permanent as he lets his mother know how he feels. This is it. Eddie has finally reached the point of no return. He has had enough of lies and dishonesty, and as hard as it is for him to do, he is ready to give up. With one last annoyed puff of air, he turns around on his heels and attempts to leave the club once again. Making his way toward the exit, different plans to solve the mystery of Loren are already forming in his head. He is about to walk out of the main room, when suddenly a different tone of a feminine voice fills up the awkward atmosphere he created.**

"She's telling the truth."

**Surprise and confusion fills up his features, as he turns back only to be faced by his aunt, Daphne, standing there with her body as bolt upright as it always has been. She attracts the attention to herself the minute she speaks up and she walks further into the room coming out of the dimly lit hallway. He looks her up and down for a small second and takes note of her shaking hands, signaling him that she is, for whatever reason it may be, nervous. The rattling sound of the heels of her black stilettos against the dark wooden flooring fills up the room as she slowly takes a couple of small steps toward him. It doesn't take a genius to notice the cautiousness in her movements which only deepens not only his, but everybody else's confusion, as well. Frankly, it just seems hard for them to understand how she even comes to contribute** **in this topic. She has only met Loren a few times but there has never been more than five words exchanged between them. Daphne has always been around and she had even been a vital part of the family, once, but a while ago she became closed off and for whatever reason distanced herself from each of them, even her sister. She has never actually been called upon or questioned about her actions, though. Eventually, everyone just accepted the situation and moved on thinking that it would get better. It didn't, unfortunately. - **"How can you be so sure of that?"

"Because I am the one who had already met Loren before any of you did."

**To say that Eddie was shocked to hear her say that would be quite the understatement. Before coming here, he readied himself for everything he could have thought of. However, he never would have thought that Daphne was the reason for Loren's strange behavior that night. - **"Where? Or how? I don't understand."

**She looks a little bit hesitant at first and nervously shifts on the heel of her shoes. She looks down at her feet, avoiding eye contact as much as she can and rubs her hands together for a few minutes, staying henceforward dead silent. Finally seeming to gather up enough courage with a few murmured words, Eddie's ushering expression and a deep breath of fresh air, she looks him in the eye and words start to fly out of her mouth. - **"It was probably two or three years ago. I was visiting someone outside of town and…"

"Who is this someone?"

"His name is Colorado…"

**He doesn't get to heart the rest of his name because Daphne's voice is all of a sudden interrupted by his mother's disbelieving and shocked cry, with what he senses to be anger in her voice. She walks up to us, stopping right in between them glaring at her sister with disappointment and blame written all of her features. - **"What did you just say?"

**Fear. Fear is something that he doesn't expect to see on his mother's face. For some reason Katy is afraid of this guy, which also means that she somehow knows him making the situation even more complicated. She doesn't even give Daphne time to answer as she is already bombarding her with several other questions. - **"Why would… why would you even go there?"

**She gulps in the middle of her sentence needing a few seconds to finish it completely, which makes it even more obvious. She is definitely afraid of him. Why and how? Why is she afraid of this Colorado? How does she know him? How does he know Loren? How is it possible that Daphne had met Loren even before he did? These questions are circling around Eddie's mind but as much as he wants answers for each of them, he eventually goes with -** "What's going on? Who is this dude?"

**They don't bother to address Eddie or answer his question, as they keep on glaring at each other, as if no one else is in the room. Eddie eventually comes to terms with their and silence and accepts that he actually may be better off not knowing the truth about the identity of this guy. He would rather concentrate on finding Loren and revealing the truth, anyways. - **"You know what, I don't even want to know, just tell me everything! What does he have to do with Loren?"

**Daphne is the avert her eyes away from Katy's and surprisingly seems to be on the edge of tears with shaking hands, as she is trying to gather up some courage to voice her answer. It takes her a few minutes but eventually, she looks him in the eyes, her voice still shaky, but still strong and she proceeds to tell him the answer.**

"She… She… I think she's been abused by him."

**She struggles with speaking as she hiccups trying to answer his nephew as clearly as she can. She loses control over her tears but she finishes her sentence as a couple of fresh tears stream down her cheeks showing Eddie how upset she actually is about this. Thinking about the past brought up awful memories for her, which she until now still has not been able to properly process.**

**Hearing the word 'abused' triggers something inside of Eddie and for a few minutes he is lost for words and unable to move any part of his body. He has no idea how to react to this revelation. Should he be disappointed that Loren didn't trust him enough to share this with he or should he be angry that his own aunt didn't care enough to inform him about this? Should he be frustrated that this news just adds to the ever-growing list of secrets his girlfriend had been keeping from him? There are so many emotion circling around inside of Eddie and he just doesn't know what to do anymore. He can feel the stares, his mother and her sister have been giving him, digging a hole on the back of my head and I turn around only to see them looking as if he was a ticking bomb and they waiting for it to blow up. -** "Why haven't you told me about any of this?"

"It wasn't for me to tell, Eddie." **– Daphne him softly, with an understanding look on her face. She is right, it wasn't for her to tell. If Loren had trusted him enough, if she had **_**loved**_** him enough, she would have been the one to tell him about this. Apparently, she didn't trust him, nor loved him at all. In some sick and horrible ways, it is just hilarious. He cannot say that he hasn't been warned. At the very beginning, she actually took the time to warn him. She strictly and specifically told Eddie not to get involved with her because in the end he would eventually get hurt. And he did. He never took her seriously back then because it just seemed foolish. He was aware of the fact that she had more emotional baggage than anyone else. He naïvely thought that they would conquer it. Together. Nonetheless, she is not the only one to blame in this situation. He has always anticipated it, this pain. Over the course of their relationship, he has always felt it at the very bottom of his heart, that in spite of all of the efforts, she has never really been a part of this relationship entirely. Sure, she loved Eddie in her own ways, but she could never really be herself around Eddie. Everything makes more sense now, however, at the same time he is on a whole new level of confusion now.** **He feels the burning glances directed at him from the people in the room and suddenly breathing becomes harder than usual. Eddie has been trying to convince himself over the last few weeks that he was over this; that each day it has become less painful but it seems like he was wrong. The more time passes by, the less he seems like he knows about Loren.**

"I understand not telling me about it while she was here, but now… Now that she's gone, I just… I have to get out of here."

**The chapter was getting so long that I had to cut it into two parts. I am sorry about the delay. Merry Christmas!**

**Quote Credit:**

_**Desperate Housewives 7x14: "It doesn't matter where we are going, it doesn't matter how quickly we try to get there. It doesn't matter that we never look back; the past we left behind will always find a way to catch up to us."**_

_**Desperate Housewives 3x07: "We can't prevent what we can't predict."**_


End file.
